Just Grace in a Watching World 

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us to the time of trial, but rescue us from the evil one. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6.12-15) 

Reflection

It was so embarrassing. Sam nearly broke down again in her local Sainsbury’s. It was right in the middle of the self-service queue during the Monday lunch hour rush. Nobody had ever told her that fractured work relationships could be so painful and that they could impact her work, sleep, and mental health. She got help from her GP to tackle her anxiety and mini breakdowns but she still felt trapped in a nightmare.
 
It had all started earlier that year with a small disagreement with a work colleague. As misunderstandings grew and competition for a promotion added fuel to the fire, the tension between Sam and her colleague became unmistakable, stifling the atmosphere in the office.
 
Sam found herself replaying over and over in her mind the difficult conversations she had had with her colleague. Her emotions were in turmoil, making it hard for her to concentrate on her job. The thought of starting a new workday filled her with dread, and she became noticeably more anxious and irritable on Sunday evenings in anticipation of the working week.
 
Adding to her inner conflict was the guilt she wrestled with—she wondered how her actions might be affecting other people’s perceptions of God and her Christian witness. She knew, as a Christian, that the situation could not be left unresolved. But what was the right thing to do? What would restoration and reconciliation involve? What if her colleague did not want to reconcile or even acknowledge the problem? The questions left her feeling paralysed.
 
One Sunday morning at church, as she recited the Lord’s Prayer, a line echoed in her heart: ‘Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors’ (Matthew 6:12). It was clear to Sam that, as a forgiven sinner, she was called to forgive her colleague. But what did forgiveness look like in a workplace setting? What if her colleague did not think they had done anything wrong, and/or were not asking for forgiveness? Would that absolve her from having to forgive?
 
Probably most of us can relate to Sam’s story. Work relationships are complex and can be the most challenging aspect of our professional lives. Although we have biblical principles to guide us, and people at church can pray with us, finding practical working-world solutions can be tricky. This is why a forum like Faith in Business can be such a lifeline. It creates a communal and convivial space to explore the issues, acknowledge the anguish, and find ways to glorify God in the midst of trouble.
 
Indeed, if our lives are to be lived for the glory of God, how we work and handle work relationships is integral to our worship and ministry. Human labour and skill are not just means to personal fulfilment or financial gain but a way to participate in God’s creative and redemptive work in the world. Work cannot, therefore be assigned to a ‘non-spiritual’ compartment of our lives. There is no sacred-secular divide. All of life is to be lived for the glory of God. What happens at work matters to Jesus.
 
As authentic disciples, we are called to live out kingdom values in every sphere, embodying integrity, excellence, and service wherever God has placed us. This approach transforms our work into a platform to glorify God and reflect the purposes of God’s kingdom.

What does forgiveness look like?

Forgiveness is a deeply personal and spiritual process, but it also has practical implications. At its core, forgiveness involves several key elements, including the following:
 

1. Acknowledging the wrong - forgiveness does not mean minimising or dismissing the hurt that has been caused. Sam realised she needed to face the situation honestly, naming the offence to herself and to God in prayer. Ignoring the issue or brushing it aside would only have let bitterness take deeper root in her heart.
2. Releasing the desire for revenge - forgiveness requires a willingness to surrender the need for vindication. For Sam, this meant letting go of her desire to see her colleague punished or shamed. That did not mean ignoring workplace protocols for dealing with bad behaviour. But it did mean addressing such behaviour with grace, rather than with anger or retaliation. 
3. Letting go of bitterness – bitterness is a heavy burden to carry. It not only affected Sam’s relationship with her colleague but also her mental health and her relationship with God. Through prayer and reflection, she began to ask for the strength to release her anger and resentment, trusting God to bring justice at the right time and in the right way. Justice may not work out as we envisage, but we can entrust ourselves to God, who judges justly. 
4. Pursuing reconciliation where possible - reconciliation requires two willing parties. While Sam could choose to forgive, she could not control her colleague’s response. She decided to take the first step by reaching out, not with accusations but with an invitation to talk. Whether or not her colleague responded, Sam’s deliberate act of forgiveness freed her from the chains of unresolved conflict. And this response itself is honouring to God.  

The cost of forgiveness

Forgiveness is never easy. It involves absorbing pain and relinquishing the desire for payback. Sam reflected on how God’s forgiveness of her came at the great cost: the life of God’s only Son, Jesus Christ. This realisation gave her the courage to bear the much smaller cost to her of her forgiveness of her colleague - even when it felt unfair that she, rather than her colleague, had to incur a cost.
 
Sam also meditated on Matthew 6:14-15: ‘If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses’. These verses reminded her that her relationship with God was intertwined with how she treated others. Forgiveness was not optional but essential.
 
None of this implies that forgiveness means acquiescing in bad behaviour or a lack of accountability. In fact, Sam sought guidance and mediation from her HR department to address the professional aspects of the conflict. She learned that forgiveness could coexist with holding someone accountable in a way that seeks restoration, not revenge.

Forgiveness and mental health

As Sam committed herself to forgive, she began to notice a shift in her mental health. Her anxiety lessened, and her panic attacks became less frequent. Forgiveness lightened her emotional burden, allowing her to focus on her work and her faith with renewed energy. Prayer became not just a routine but a lifeline, helping her to surrender the situation to God and to trust God with the outcome.
 
An important way in which God helps us deal with the challenge of forgiveness and accountability, besides personal prayer, is the church family and Christian community. We need not, and must not, bear the challenges alone. We need to find the humility to enlist the prayers and support of others. We may also need to consider seeking medical advice if we are concerned about the impact on our mental health of the trauma and stress of bad relationships at work. 

A call to action

Can you identify with Sam’s story? Do you also find yourself struggling with broken relationships or unresolved conflict at work? Forgiveness is not easy, but it is transformative. It frees us from the grip of bitterness and opens the door to healing and peace. While reconciliation may not always be possible, forgiveness always is. It is a gift we give, not because it is deserved, but because we have been forgiven by God.
 
As you reflect on your own relationships, ask yourself:

• Who do I need to forgive?
• What steps can I take to address the situation with grace and humility?
• What workplace accountability structures can I rely on to address relationship issues effectively and constructively?
• How can I use relationship challenges as opportunities to glorify God in my workplace?   

Although forgiveness is costly, it is also freeing. Ultimately it is not just about restoring relationships but about living in a way that reflects the grace and mercy we have received. As we forgive as we have been forgiven, we become witnesses to a watching world of the amazing power of the gospel.

Author